Doro A (too_shy) wrote in lotripping,
Doro A
too_shy
lotripping

Feedback - Into the Dark msilverstar








Into the Dark

You were probably right about your little fic getting lost among the 'hobbit' fics. I would imagine that most of us are mostly in the 'hobbit' camp since we know about the zine from Hope or from people who know her, etc.

However, since I will read anything you care to write, and since I'll at least try anything in actual print (yay! Hope), it was no hardship reading your story. (Trying to write feedback is another thing.)

So. I really like it. Start with the title, which reflects the scene they were filming (Journey in the Dark) as well as the settings they were in for their private little scenes. Continue with an easy, light pace that is just lovely for the non-ansty, non-schmoopy, *hot* (way to warm them up *grin*) guys getting hot together.

The language is simple, short sentences and phrases, without fancy or flowery words, and is just perfect for what they create together. I've read other stories of yours, so I can see this as a specific style choice, and it works really well here.

"Love has many faces."

Yes.

The characters you create here match up well with my internal vision of these guys, two mature men who have both had (and lost) previous romantic and lifemate relationships, and who have children.

This:
Even in the dark, he can tell that Viggo gives one of his amazing smiles: it's as though the whole room has lit up, or maybe just Sean's chest.

Lovely.

Thank you.

Doro





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